Advice for older women dating younger men

Long gone are the days when dating a younger man made you a ‘cougar’. Today, women dating younger men is becoming more and more common and while this type of relationship has its challenges, it can also unlock a wonderful way of life if you’re committed to making it work. 

A study conducted by sex physcologist Dr Justin Lehmiller surveyed 200 heterosexual women in relationships, including the age of their partner, and how satisfied they were. He found that women who were more than 10 years older than their partner were the most satisfied with, and committed to, their relationships than both women who were younger than their partners, and women whose partners were close in age. Lehmiller believed this might be “because when the woman is older, it might shift the power dynamic toward greater equality”. 

If you’re interested in dating a younger man or need some advice, we’ve rounded up everything you need to know, including expert tips for you to take away. 


Younger men come with less baggage

dating younger men

Younger men are likely to have experienced fewer relationships. An older man might be divorced, have children or even grandchildren, which can make future relationships a little bit complicated — especially if they’re not on good terms with exes. When you’re in your older stages of life, it can sometimes be hard to deal with the baggage, so finding love with a younger man could give you that independence you’re looking for. 

“Men can have preconceived notions about women and relationships based on past experiences,” says Samantha Daniels, a professional matchmaker and president of Samantha’s Table Matchmaking. “The younger and less experienced he is, the more open he’ll be in his relationship with you.”

Time decides who you meet in your life, your heart decides who you want in your life, and your behavior decides who stays in your life.

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It’s all about connection -- no matter what the age difference.

older woman younger man age difference

Whoever you choose to date, it’s essential that you both have a great connection or it won’t last. Finding someone who has the same hobbies and interests as you will go a long way in building a long-lasting relationship. Some of the most famous celebrity couples in the world have large age gaps — in many cases 10 years or more, so it’s absolutely possible to forget the age gap and focus on being together as a couple. 

According to a 2017 study from dating website EliteSingles, 450,000 of their male users between age 20 and 29 preferred dating an older woman (with 11 years being the most desirable gap), so there are plenty of men on the dating scene who are looking for older women too. 

Sometimes you meet someone. and it is so clear that the two of you  belong together. As lovers, or as friends or as family or as something entirely different. You just work, whether you understand one another or you’re in love or you’re partners in crime. You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive. I don’t know if that makes me believe in coincidence, or fat, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something.


It’s more common than you might think.

older women younger men common

Research carried out last summer by McGill University’s Milaine Alarie and Jason Carmichael concluded it’s common for older women to date younger men. After pulling data from the National Survey of Family Growth, the Canadian initiative found that approximately 13 percent of sexually active women between 35 and 44 have slept with a man at least 5 years their junior.

And, not only did they discover that middle aged women who’d been previously married were more likely to seek a younger mate, they also showed that older woman/younger man relationships are rarely brief flings (on average they last for 2 years).

There will be men who want you, and there will be a man who deserves you. Know the difference.

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Younger guys can bring out your sense of adventure.

dating younger man adventure

It’s not exactly fair to say that an older woman dating a younger man is only done to recapture lost youth. However, there’s definitely an element of finding independence and a sense of adventure when dating a younger man who is currently in this stage of life. With fewer family demands and other financial or lifestyle constraints, dating a younger guy can mean there’s a greater chance of getting out there and experiencing new things in life. 

Jess Carbino, the former in-house sociologist for dating apps Tinder and Bumble, says that her research with women over fifty revealed a strong desire to date men eight or more years younger, in part because they assume that age group will be more open to new experiences. “They find the aging process for men to be more accelerated than among women, in terms of their desires for exploration, and are interested in younger men who may be less set in their ways,” she says.

The real power of a man is the size of the smile of the woman sitting next to him.

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Younger guys will love your confidence.

fabswingers woman in bed

With age comes wisdom, life stories and a confidence that younger women don’t always have. This is really attractive to a lot of men who are looking for a partner who knows what she wants and knows themself. 

That self-assured vibe and “profound sense of purpose” can be a siren call, says Paulette Sherman, psychology, relationship expert and author of Dating from the Inside Out. And for the rare young-yet-mature man who’s got his life together “but is struggling to find a similarly-positioned woman his age, older women may seem like a very good option in terms of a romantic partner.”

Do what makes you happy. Be with who makes you smile. Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live..

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The sex can be amazing.

swingers man woman erotic

Sex is an important part of any relationship — especially in later life. The reason could be that while men are still experimenting in bed and have an increased libido, older women (especially over 50) have often shed their inhibitions about their body, giving them a sense of confidence between the sheets. They’ve also experienced sexual partners in the past, meaning that they probably know what they want and won’t be afraid to tell you!

The theory that men’s sexual peak hits decades earlier than a woman’s, making an 18 year-old man and a 35-year-old woman unlikely-yet-perfect bedfellows, comes from a study conducted way back in 1953 (and the existence of a “sexual peak” is highly debatable).

I am a wild lover.
Love consumes me.
I let go.
My soul boils
inside me.
My kisses
will stain your skin.
My eyes
will burn your heart
I will break you
and I will fix you.
I am addictive.
I am yours.

Lots of older women are dating younger men and enjoying themselves! Find reviews and advice from the experts at

If you’re looking to date a younger man, the best thing to do is to give it a try! Read some of our dating website and app reviews and sign up to your favourites today. You never know, love might be just around the corner… 

Images:, Huffington Post,

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Amy is a relationship writer and dating coach who helps people find love online. She understands everyone has a need to interact, feel and connect with themselves and others. She believes every relationship begins with you and the key to a relationship is loving yourself first. Amy enjoys yoga, travel and learning new things.


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